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Today is meh but I’ve learned to like those days. The anxiety is gone today which is a plus. I’ve joined weight watchers for three months. I had a coupon lol I decided the change doesn’t have to be fast. Just so I’m changing right? Twenty one days makes a habit three months should solidify it. 

I did have some regret thoughts today. Why I have to haunt myself I don’t know. I do miss the old me though.she was a firecracker. 

These are the flowers sent to me by my best friend too my work. It brightened my day for sure. I’m lucky to have the love of people in my life. It should be enough shouldn’t it?


6 thoughts on “meh

    Culbert Sinnsen said:
    October 21, 2016 at 4:54 pm

    I don’t feel love from anyone right now. I just feel pain.

    Glad you turned a bit of a corner today.

    Aunt Tabbi said:
    October 21, 2016 at 5:28 pm

    I miss the “gone me” sometimes too. But then I realize that that person was hurting, but just learned how to fake it and cover it up. I was happy. My old nickname was “Sunshine”. I always, always had a smile on my face. I was quick with a joke or a funny story. I was…on fire for life. Or at least that’s what everyone thought. Inside I was crying, pleading, begging for help. Now I have found help – medication, therapy, support group, my blog, hobbies, education on my mental illnesses, and much more – I’m more the real me now. I don’t fake it when I’m having a bad day. I own it. I admit it. I move on. Tomorrow is another day. Maybe it will be better. Maybe it will not. But I can’t worry about it.

    A Single Parent's Life said:
    October 21, 2016 at 7:25 pm

    I know how you feel there was a time shortly before and after I met ex that I was truly happy was always doing things had friends we all did things together. Then everything happen with my ex and I stopped doing anything or talking to anyone. Now I have no friends and never get out to do anything. I am hoping it all comes back around and falls into place like everything else is.

    I still haven’t joined the gym I keep telling my self to fill out the papers and do it but I haven’t yet. Maybe one day soon.

    avaswan said:
    October 21, 2016 at 7:43 pm

    The old you is in there sweetie, I see signs that the new you will be even better. You are a great person with loving friends. Enjoy your weekend!!!

    bp7o9 said:
    October 22, 2016 at 12:39 am

    Okay. Stop right there with your ‘it should be enough, shouldn’t it’. Stop telling yourself how you should be feeling and start accepting what you are feeling.

    You miss the old you. I can relate to that. But honey, if the old you stuck around you’d never make any progress. We have to change and adapt. That process is difficult and often painful. What you WERE may never come back. But it will have an impact on what you will BECOME. That, you can count on.

    Let yourself mourn for the you you’ve lost. Let yourself mourn for those days when life allowed you to BE that person. It’s okay to do that. It’s not egotistical or petty or small or whatever your brain is trying to tell you it is.

    It’s good to hear you’ve joined a group. Don’t care what the group is for; what you need right now is to get out among people. Find how the new you can fit in. Find out who the new you IS. ❤

    Keith Haney said:
    October 22, 2016 at 3:47 pm

    Hang in there

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