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I hate my medication right now. My husband told me he thinks about finding someone else who he’s more compatible with to spend the rest of his life with and I feel numb about it. I should be crying and begging for change yet I can’t bring myself to be effective. He says he doesn’t feel that way right now as we are talking but I struggle to share my feelings with him. Is it the bipolar or something else? My heart does hurt. And I don’t want a divorce but I know I’m not the women he married. Am I being fair to him? Does he deserve better? I just don’t know. 


4 thoughts on “numb

    blackgirldown said:
    October 3, 2016 at 5:57 pm

    Listen me and my hubby had this same talk when I was diagnose with my illness. And at first I was telling him he could leave me, but NOPE dammit we all married For Better Or For Worse, In Sickness and Health. They don’t get to leave us because they can’t handle what’s in the vows, hell I didn’t leave him when he was down right out a horrible husband, I stood by him and it got better. So know he needs to learn about the illness and help you, he can’t just pick a new woman when the going gets tough. And don’t you give him that damn option. Sorry I just got a little heated, flaskback to how my hubby treated me. Please feel free to ask me any question about this, I have been married for 11 years and we have been through it all. Wishing you well!

    Aunt Tabbi said:
    October 3, 2016 at 8:12 pm

    I don’t have any words of advice. I’ve never been in this situation with a husband. I was only (seriously – considering marriage) a man when I was finally diagnosed. He couldn’t handle it and I loved him enough to let him go. In my situation it was unfair to me and unfair to him. Now he is happily married with a beautiful son. I’m happy for him, but when I get lonely…I miss him like crazy. Our love wasn’t strong enough and we really had no bonds to one another. Hopefully yours is? I’m here for you.

    Culbert Sinnsen said:
    October 4, 2016 at 7:39 am

    I know how you feel. I think, like me, you just have to figure it out in time.

    myambivalentexistence said:
    October 4, 2016 at 7:47 am

    Wow, that’s really shitty 😦 *hugs*

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