The biggest take away from group therapy I received in the hospital was that I was/am angry at God for my mental health issues. I never saw myself as an angry person. Apathetic yes. But I was/am I put both was and am as I feel at peace with my anger at God but I don’t think I’m done with it. If that makes any sense. Like I bet it will flare up again because damn it no one deserves this. Why does it even exist?
Anyway to help resolve my anger and to help with isolation I’ve decided to find a church to start attending. Just for my own peace of mind I’ll put in this disclaimer… I believe in God but I also believe you can believe in something someone or nothing and be just as “saved” again hope that made sense… Ok so I even vocalize to a friend and she is going to start going with me too. I am almost excited.
I learned other things about myself but this is the biggest one I think so I felt like sharing first. I missed you all and as always I appreciate your support.