when thoughts won’t go away

I can’t deal right now. I tried to take a nap and all I could think about is my job. My husband doesn’t want me to quit because we need the money but it’s eating me alive. I wish I had some klonopine so I could chill the fuck out. I’m tired of moaning about it and dreaming about it and doing it in general. I promise job hunting where I live is not easy for good paying jobs. I just wish I could turn it off. I’ve tried mindfulness and grounding so I promise again I’m really trying to stay positive. Ugh!

9 thoughts on “when thoughts won’t go away

  1. i see why you are stressed but keep the job for now making more is important and if you can’t find a good maying job you just have to suck it up until a better opportunity comes along. Hang in there

  2. So sorry you are stressing, I’m depressed because I can’t find a job! Oh well hope it gets better.

  3. ok, this is totally because i just spent an hour but finally convinced myself to go to the gym and now i feel better but reading this it just felt like a boiling point. if you can, and i know you have 80 million things, try to go for a walk. and try to get out of breathe. i think sometimes when we panic we take shallow breathes, and it exacerbates the panic. when you are out of breathe you can’t help but take deep breathes in and i don’t know, i just read this and thought, she needs to get out of the house and walk the block! ignore this if you hate the idea. i know i would. lol. take care of yourself however you need to. we’ll be here when you get back.

  4. *hugs* That sounds really shitty. Have you thought about going back to the dr who would prescribe klonopin ?

  5. I can understand when you are in a job you hate. Where I currently work, there were 3 years I hated of it which last year, because of their attitudes I was starting to feel low, because I dreaded the thought of coming to work. This then went onto panic attacks, which after a scenario of where I was spoken to like crap with spectators that should not have been there in the room, (7 of them,) this lead to biggest panic attacks of them all. When I thought I could not get any lower, I did.
    This lead me going to the doctors and I went on anti-depressants and counselling. This counselling which I had last year and through beginning of this year helped me big time, as my blog posts from the beginning explain.
    It was very hard. But it does get better. It takes time. After that scenario where I was spoken to like crap and something that happened after, I reduced my hours slightly. (It wasn’t something I was hasty on, as I had thought about this for a year.)

    As for work. There were meetings being arranged by the very top and I went to one and explained my concerns that I was not happy with. This was dealt with in an accordingly way, which meant my department for one had to listen to me and practice what they preach; “Customer Service.” Things are better since. Not just for me, but for everyone else too.

    Although I still plan to leave work and be in a different job, it’s not quick as I’d like. But I am in a place where I volunteer to hear the right things that come along, to hopefully one day where I want to work. Until then, I am enjoying the experience of the volunteer work.

    Talk to the people that support you, i.e. your doctor and counsellor. Don’t do this on your own.

    Talk with your doctor and see if any meds if you feel need adjusting and take a walk round the block as someone else mentioned, or something that you would like to do for you, to balance out the negatives. (It was something I had to do.)

    You may take one step forward but two steps back in recovery. But it doesn’t matter how long it takes, as long as you keep going forward/

    Best wishes and sorry for the long post. I just want to help.

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