I feel hopeful still but it’s mixed with blah feeling. I think it’s the waiting to know if I’ll be picked. Plus it’s my last week at the position I was doing. Then to investigations full time. I just don’t know how I feel about it all.
This meme speaks a little to how I’m feeling as well. I work so hard at being a good person I feel shit on a lot because of it. I wish I could be a crap person sometimes but my conscious won’t let me. Then I think that’s a good thing. It’s better to be nice then mean. I use to be so manipulative and the guilt now that my emotions are regulated through medication sometimes gets the better of me. That’s not healthy either. I really just want to be happier but is that attainable?