Now I feel like I’m in a mixed state. I feel like spending money and shopping and cleaning and doing nothing all together. I know it’s not the bipolar as those moods aren’t so quick but this stupid borderline personality disorder I have. I’m trying so hard to not be my illness but some days that’s hard. This afternoon is hard to not be bpd. I just want out of this house but I’ve got kiddos to watch. I have no one to go see or do anything with anyway.