I spent last night in reflection about my recent suicidal ideation struggle. I realized I focus on being bipolar but I think it’s under control now with medication. I don’t get months of depression or manic high. I now get bursts of different emotions I think that’s my borderline personality disorder. Meds don’t usually help that at least that’s my understanding. Here I thought maybe I was diagnosed wrong but last night I realized I probably do have both. Fml! I need to really focus on my recovery from that rather then the bipolar. I need to develop better coping skills somehow. I know I try things like meditation and mindfulness but they don’t always work. I see my therapist next week and I’m going to bring it up.