Struggling again

Posted on

Last night I prayed that God let me die in my sleep. This is the first time I prayed that and it scared me. As you can tell that didn’t happen. I’m thankful for that yet I still am having suicidal thoughts. I feel so stupid. I’m super anxious and I have to perform a segment in my training. I can’t calm down. I’ve tried breathing techniques and mindfulness. It’s helping minimally.

Advertisements

25 thoughts on “Struggling again

    Aunt Tabbi said:
    June 16, 2016 at 8:32 am

    Maybe you should call your doctor

      socialworkerangela responded:
      June 16, 2016 at 3:51 pm

      The sucky thing is I had to reschedule my Dr’s appt for this training boo

        Aunt Tabbi said:
        June 16, 2016 at 5:45 pm

        Oh yuck

    Micki Allen said:
    June 16, 2016 at 8:36 am

    My thoughts and prayers are with you, Friend. I’ve been there. Please speak with trusted friends and let your doctor know. You’re certainly not stupid! You’re human. XOXOX

    carlalouise89 said:
    June 16, 2016 at 8:38 am

    I’m so sorry to hear this. I really am. I can empathise with this feeling, and sometimes I make the same prayer.
    If you ever need to talk – and want to do so more privately – please feel free to send me an email via my Facebook page. I know that sometimes people you don’t know can help better; I also know that sometimes being alone is just what’s needed. The offer, regardless, is always there. If there is any way I can help, please let me know, and I’ll do everything in my power.

      socialworkerangela responded:
      June 16, 2016 at 3:53 pm

      Thank you I will probably take you up on the offer as those thoughts are scary

        carlalouise89 said:
        June 16, 2016 at 8:17 pm

        I’m sure they are. Please, feel free any time. I will get back to you as soon as I can, if you ever do decide to do so.

    Culbert Sinnsen said:
    June 16, 2016 at 8:38 am

    I have had those thoughts many times. If you can, try to take a walk (outside). If there is someone in your life who can provide comfort, call them.

    I also suggest calling your therapist/doctor as the other comment recommended.

    bp7o9 said:
    June 16, 2016 at 8:55 am

    bipolarmom317 said:
    June 16, 2016 at 9:50 am

    Hang in there. One day at a time. People love u :*

    myambivalentexistence said:
    June 16, 2016 at 10:11 am

    Call your old dr. Get your anxiety meds back *hugs*

    laurelwolfelives said:
    June 16, 2016 at 11:39 am

    I can’t say that I have ever prayed for death but I do know that STILL, I think “I don’t care if I live or die.” I’m still here but sometimes the “limbs that are supposed to bear the pain” are all broken. We’re here for you….just reach out.

    A Covert Narcissist's Wife said:
    June 16, 2016 at 2:32 pm

    So sorry for your struggle, I understand that feeling and level of hopelessness.
    I read that those thoughts happen to most people at one time or another, for me quite often recently.
    I also read that they are called suicidal fantasies. Again, you’re not alone.
    Many people experience those same thoughts due to more stress than it is possible to process.
    It’s a temporary coping technique, it’s okay, not stupid.

      socialworkerangela responded:
      June 16, 2016 at 3:57 pm

      I’ve had it as a coping mechanism since I was a teen… Hard to break those thoughts

        A Covert Narcissist's Wife said:
        June 16, 2016 at 4:59 pm

        Me too, I understand and it is hard, maybe impossible but at least we’re trying.

        socialworkerangela responded:
        June 16, 2016 at 5:01 pm

        Yep… Gotta keep plugging away

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s