I feel a depression creeping in. I have a lot on my mind and too much time to think. Today is already going slow. I know I need to get over myself and find some joy in life but where to look? If I lived in a larger town it would be easier. I swear that’s not a whine just a fact. I am lost right now… Adrift in a sea of self loathing. I’m going to work in paddling to shore today. I don’t like being this way.