Black and white thinking

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I woke up anxious today. I think I’m worried I won’t make any money at this garage sale and I need to as I had to take money from husband account to pay the mortgage. That’s the other thing that is agitating me. I haven’t told him. I know he will be mad. I worry he will leave me because I’m not the perfect wife. Sometimes I don’t care if he were to leave and other days it freaks me out. I think it’s a borderline personality thing. That black and white thinking. Plus who wants someone mad at them. I need to just tell him and get it over with. That might help my anxiety and he’s going to find out anyway.

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10 thoughts on “Black and white thinking

    Ijustdo said:
    June 4, 2016 at 10:22 am

    When there is something I have to tell my husband that I know is going to make him mad it stresses me out so much. I will avoid telling him, which only prolongs the inevitable. Then if it’s a time sensitive issue, the closer it gets to the due date the worse I freak out. It’s like living in a constant state of “I’m not good enough.” And you’re right. Who wants someone mad at you? Stay strong. I think I already saw your next post…so this whole comment is probably out of place now, but I didn’t want you to feel alone.

      socialworkerangela responded:
      June 4, 2016 at 10:25 am

      Thank you I appreciate your words. I know I had to tell him but the thought stressed me out.

    myambivalentexistence said:
    June 4, 2016 at 11:15 am

    I do this too. I have a problem with putting things I don’t need on our credit cards.I told him recently, but by the time I told him it was so bad that we had to take money out of savings to undo the damage :/ I felt like such a failure , because it was my fault. I had built it up to this big thing in my head , where I was disappointing him and he would be angry and he would have finally just had enough and leave me. But it wasn’t nearly so bad. And the relief of not hiding anything was just so great.

    manyofus1980 said:
    June 4, 2016 at 4:43 pm

    I hope he wasnt too mad. Its awful when someones mad at you. xoxo

    any1mark66 said:
    June 4, 2016 at 10:27 pm

    It’s worse to hold things off. The biggest problem I face is my wife has anger issues. She will make nothing into a marriage wrecking experience. Her mind can’t let go of things. She likes to hold on to bad things forever. Worrying will kill you and your future. The future starves to death because you stop feeding it theorems it needs to live. Financial issues don’t make people failures, it makes you normal.

      socialworkerangela responded:
      June 5, 2016 at 8:28 am

      Your totally right holding on was way worse then getting it over with. I am a worrier stopping the worry is very hard for me but putting off the inevitable is never good

        any1mark66 said:
        June 5, 2016 at 6:38 pm

        Some day try not to worry for fifteen minutes. Don’t look for issues. Just take what is there. If you can make fifteen minutes ,then try twenty. You sent a lifetime learning to worry, you’ll need to spend time learning how not to worry.

        socialworkerangela responded:
        June 5, 2016 at 7:03 pm

        Very true about lifetime… I will take your advice and work on fifteen minutes at a time

        any1mark66 said:
        June 5, 2016 at 7:04 pm

        😀

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