Addiction

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I’m addicted to food. I think about it a lot and my weight shows it. I have many thoughts about cutting it of me or being a drug addict to be thin. I’m currently obsessing over a quick blog comment I exchanged. The person wrote that her therapist said something like recovery is achievable if your fifty percent committed to it mentally. I can’t remember the direct wordage but it’s pretty much what was said. I want to be fifty percent there but I’m not. I feel like a worthless failure because why shouldn’t I want it. I hate being overweight and held by my addiction but it’s familiar to me. It comforts me. Just writing this agitates me so much that I’m thinking of chocolate and making myself sick eating it. I’m sad I don’t want it that bad. And I am so ashamed I have no one to share it with well except here. I’m thankful for that.

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6 thoughts on “Addiction

    myambivalentexistence said:
    May 28, 2016 at 9:17 pm

    *hugs* I understand. I’m more than 50% there with the alcohol , but I’m not there with the cutting , and I feel ashamed that I don’t want to quit more than I do. You aren’t alone. I’m sorry you can’t share more in your day to day life. I know that sucks :/ Feel free to email me if I can be of support at all.

    bp7o9 said:
    May 29, 2016 at 1:40 am

    I feel bad this causes you so much anxiety. ❤ Please be well.

    manyofus1980 said:
    May 29, 2016 at 5:37 pm

    i struggle with weight issues too. feeling fat, but i do love my food so much. i am trying to lose weight but its so hard. supporting you hon. xo

    hopeforheather said:
    May 29, 2016 at 7:01 pm

    I fully understand! Have always struggled with my weight. After brain surgeries I lost a ton, now in forced menopause and it’s hell. You can do it!

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