I’m addicted to food. I think about it a lot and my weight shows it. I have many thoughts about cutting it of me or being a drug addict to be thin. I’m currently obsessing over a quick blog comment I exchanged. The person wrote that her therapist said something like recovery is achievable if your fifty percent committed to it mentally. I can’t remember the direct wordage but it’s pretty much what was said. I want to be fifty percent there but I’m not. I feel like a worthless failure because why shouldn’t I want it. I hate being overweight and held by my addiction but it’s familiar to me. It comforts me. Just writing this agitates me so much that I’m thinking of chocolate and making myself sick eating it. I’m sad I don’t want it that bad. And I am so ashamed I have no one to share it with well except here. I’m thankful for that.