A to z challenge: introvert

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I use to be a big extrovert. Mainly because I had no filter and didn’t realize a lot of what I did was out of mental illness. Through medication and more awareness I’d say I’m an introvert. Also this meme speaks volumes as to why. I’m scared people will see through me and not like what they see. I use to like myself. You’d think getting older it be easier but it isn’t. It’s worse maybe because I rarely get manic anymore. I struggle more with depression. I feel defeated often and I don’t know how to change it. So it’s better to keep to myself then try to be me pre medication. It’s exhausting to be fun and upbeat. I’m tired of putting on the happy face. Honestly I don’t think I know how to anymore.

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4 thoughts on “A to z challenge: introvert

    Mel (Hippo256) said:
    April 11, 2016 at 3:19 pm

    Putting on the happy face isn’t the right way, I think. Then you’re pretending to be happy, not actually feeling well. I think it’s good when you and well, everone actually, no longer put on their happy face. We shouldn’t crop everything up and ‘fake it till we make it’. That will make us feel worse. And it’s also good that you don’t compare yourself comstantly with pre-med you, or past you. You are welcome the way you are and we all change. I hope you will gradually feel less and less depressed!

      socialworkerangela responded:
      April 11, 2016 at 3:24 pm

      Thank you I do feel less hopeless than a couple weeks ago. It ebbs and flows

    manyofus1980 said:
    April 12, 2016 at 3:34 am

    Putting on a happy face is hard! I really don’t like who I am either. Others seem to like me though. XX

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