A to z challenge: bondage

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** this was suppose to post tomorrow but for some reason it did today silly WordPress

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Today’s a to z theme is bondage. Per the dictionary bondage is the state of being bound by or subjected to some external power or control.

I am in bondage to my fears. I know this and is one of the hardest things to “get over” I worry about worse case scenarios too much. I am afraid of failure especially as a mother, at work, and losing weight.

I am in bondage financially. I am in debt beyond what I can handle. Reckless spending has helped exacerbate it. If I could get my money back on all my manic and depressed spending I’d be debt free I’m sure. I feel like an ostrich as I put my head in the sand trying to forget I’m often drowning.

Lastly I’m in bondage to mental illnesses I did not create myself. I don’t say this out of pity or to whine. It simply is. It holds me prisoner in my own mind. This last few weeks has been testament to this. I have to accept it otherwise I will remain in greater bondage then need be. If that makes sense. I will always be in bondage over it but I can choose the level of how that bondage wrecks havoc on my life. Some days it’s one hundred percent and others I can over come it all and preserver.

What are you in bondage over? Please share if you feel like it.

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2 thoughts on “A to z challenge: bondage

    rubylane869 said:
    April 6, 2016 at 6:52 pm

    Well I think you have just talked about me!!LOL Definitely fear..I fear the unknown, feat dying, fear my loved ones dying, fear getting sick, fear being alone, fear being homeless when I’m older…geez. Didn’t realize I had so many fears!!LOL

    As for money…I blow money when I don’t have money to blow. I don’t think I have ever been THIS broke in my life & it’s my fault. I spend on things that I shouldn’t..mostly books…well I can’t even say that..I gamble. I have an addiction & it’s gotten pretty bad at times. If I’m depressed or whatever, that adrenaline & all the noise in the casino, calms me down..which is weird to say. I have learned that I can’t go into a friggin’ convenience store when I’m feeling like that, because I will buy too many scratch tickets. I don’t know how to get better. I live in a small town & they don’t have meetings for that.

    Then I also have the whole mental illness thing…depression, anxiety, PTSD, BPD. I’m just so over it.

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