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I talked about in therapy where my mind goes into catastrophe mode. It’s almost there now. I was on call and took a report. The women said I was unprofessional and though I don’t think I was the system is flawed. I think I handled the call wrong and I’m fearful of the reprimand I will get. So my brain is in worst case scenario mode. I don’t think I should do on call anymore. It’s too much to handle. Thankfully not my full time job. But it leads me to think I’m going to fuck up my regular job too. I so want to call in sick tomorrow but I won’t. I have to much to do. Ugh please send calming prayers and vibes.


6 thoughts on “Catastrophe

    aunttabbi said:
    November 29, 2015 at 6:43 pm

    I go into “catastrophe” mode as well. I’m sending you calming thoughts and a prayer for the best to come from the situation. Try not to worry too much about what hasn’t happened yet.

    gettingthroughanxiety said:
    November 29, 2015 at 7:17 pm

    I’m sure you tried your best. You seem so kind and I can’t see you be unprofessional. Stay strong! I wish you all the best.

    dreamingfracture said:
    December 11, 2015 at 8:07 am

    Even if you do make a mistake, it is very unusual for the worst case scenario to actually happen. I am currently living that realisation so I can tell you that first-hand.
    In therapy at the moment I am learning to be kind to myself when I am in catastrophe mode, and part of this is learning not to assume the worst in every situation.
    I have made a big mistake at work and gone through a disciplinary process as a result, so if you want to talk through anything that’s going on please feel free to contact me for a chat. Hopefully I can help to put your mind at ease, because people generally are more understanding than our own minds let us believe.

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