The story of my tattoo

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It’s my sign Libra and each star represents my boys. It also on my wrist so when I am feeling suicidal I remember not to cut my wrists. It probably sounds funny saying remember but it’s one of the ways I fantasize about killing myself. When I have the thought I look at my wrist and remember I don’t want to die that way. I owe it to my boys and myself.

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12 thoughts on “The story of my tattoo

    Jim Buchanan said:
    September 8, 2015 at 7:38 pm

    Thanks for posting it! I like it, especially the stars for your boys. I have a semicolon on my wrist, and it has recently helped with suicidal ideation. I’m making a major med change and it’s really destabilizing me, lots of anxiety and very dark thinking. Looking at the semicolon and thinking about what it means has kept me from going into planning anything. On a different note, my daughter wants for her and her mother and me to get matching tattoos. I think she might convince us, but our other kids want no part of it! 🙂

    socialworkerangela responded:
    September 8, 2015 at 7:41 pm

    Your welcome. De stabilizing is rough I hope you get better. Tattoos are addicting

      Jim Buchanan said:
      September 8, 2015 at 8:33 pm

      Yes they are. I’ve always wanted one, but until my wife and I had the idea to get semicolons, I just never did anything about it. Now a friend is getting us each a second tattoo for Christmas, I’m getting the words “The author is me.” on my other wrist, and Karla is deciding between a butterfly and a bow & arrow. My daughter wants us all to get Stitch from Lilo and Stitch with that long quote about family he says at the end of the movie. If I do this (I do like the idea), I think that’s just too many words, and want to go with a simple “Ohana” or “Ohana means family” My wife and I like the idea (and the movie), but her siblings (even the ones with tattoos) look at her like she’s crazy. She has to wait until her 18th birthday (6 mo). She also plans on getting a semicolon on her wrist like mom & dad. She has bipolar too, despite them all being adopted, most of our 7 kids have a mental illness like we do.

    socialworkerangela responded:
    September 8, 2015 at 8:41 pm

    All those sound cool. I love the stitch idea. May I ask if they were adopted through foster care?

      Jim Buchanan said:
      September 8, 2015 at 8:57 pm

      Yes, we’ve been foster parents for years, we’ve had more than 30 foster kids, 7 have been, or are in the process of (2 of them) being adopted. We take mostly special needs teenagers, mostly mental illness.

    socialworkerangela responded:
    September 8, 2015 at 9:10 pm

    I license foster homes in my state for my job. God bless you for doing what you do. I find the trauma from birth homes no matter the age leaves traces behind in trauma which causes mental illness sometimes.

      Jim Buchanan said:
      September 8, 2015 at 9:14 pm

      Yes, that is true, and thank you.

    coffeeandperspectives said:
    September 9, 2015 at 12:04 pm

    What a beautiful representation of the tattoo ☺ I feel when going gets too tough on us & I want to flee

    coffeeandperspectives said:
    September 9, 2015 at 12:06 pm

    What a beautiful representation you have of that tattoo. I guess when the going gets tough for us & I want to flee, I look at my kid and smile – Sweet my child I live for thee ☺

    Estella said:
    September 18, 2015 at 4:51 pm

    That is amazing. I actually have a sun tattooed on my right inner wrist that is for the same purpose. I used to self harm by cutting when I was a teen and the sun is to remind me that there is always a new day and a chance that things will get better.

    Thank you for sharing your story. It’s good to feel less alone.

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