I got this… Maybe

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I use to always be the chipper one. I couldn’t let on I was having a bad day until I started to implode from my mental illness. Now I think I probably always look depressed. I’m not ok with it but it’s better than always pretending to be all right. The pdoc lowered my lamactil again. I had some suicidal ideation again. I realize I have to learn to recognize it’s just a thought… An old stand by… And find the root emotion and deal with it. It’s better than being a zombie but not by much. I think dbt calls it emotions regulation. It’s my newest thing I’m working on. So far it’s going ok.

Are you currently working on anything?


6 thoughts on “I got this… Maybe

    A Journey With You said:
    July 15, 2015 at 4:55 pm

    I’m trying not to think of negative outcomes all the time. I spend a great deal of time thinking the worst is going to happen.

    lostunicorn said:
    July 16, 2015 at 9:25 am

    This really sounds like me too. I was always the one that had my shit together and “happy” until I couldn’t fake it anymore. I spend a lot of time thinking the worst is going to happen too. Totally wears me out. I find when I’m at work or working on a project at home and my mind is occupied it subsides a little. I’m a big, fat mess.

    adrianjean2006 said:
    July 16, 2015 at 11:03 pm

    Pretending isn’t worth the effort. Being real is more interesting anyway. And I am on lamictal too!!! What’s your lower dose if its not to forward? I have a tendency to not hold back.

      socialworkerangela responded:
      July 17, 2015 at 7:28 am

      I went from 150 mg to 75mg pdoc is trying to ween me off it completely

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