I haven’t been to the pdoc for a couple months. I’m anxious as I’m going to have a Frank talk with her about taking less meds. If I was on disability and lived by myself I’d love how I feel. Numb … well and anxiety but that’s life…. the numbness is blessing to me. But my husband and kids hate it. They consistently ask me how I’m doing. Get so tired of that question. A few friends have commented that I’m so different and they want the old me back. Then this week an acquaintance from work I had lunch with said I’m totally different almost vacant. She seemed to be disgusted with me almost or maybe I’m being over sensitive. I don’t know but I know this is no way to like a real life.