This weekend my husband got upset for the first time over my illness. He said he didn’t like how I am anymore. He wasn’t being mean. I do go around moping all the time. Or I should say appearing to be mopey when really I can’t be emotional. He always thinks I’m unhappy and ready to divorce him. It’s not the case at all. I am miserable but it’s all this fucking medication. I don’t want to go all off my meds just find the cocktail that makes me feel… able to cry or laugh. If I do laugh is fake and cuz I know I’m suppose too. I think I’m in a space where the emotions can come back safely. I hope so anyway.