Grrrr I wanted the link above to be a picture within the post. It won’t but if you click on the link it will bring up a calendar created by Mental Health America
Today we are to pick out a class to take. Well where I live things like that are limited. I will though go with a new found friend tomorrow to help her learn her camera. I think it follows the spirit of it all.
I am still on an emotional roller coaster I need to find a therapist to help me work though some of these things, Alas I want to do DBT but I cant find anyone remotely by me who does it. I honestly have asked anyone around me I can think of if they know anybody, No leads at all. Boo
I am living in fear. I do think that is my underlying issue right now.
I fear that if I start to eat healthier I will lose my best friend — binge eating/food.
I fear that I won’t find any recovery or that it even exists.
I fear what choices I should make for my future. I know my job can be toxic for me and I would be better mentally if I didnt have it but I am good at it AND i need the insurance. But my son has been approved for SSI and I am thinking that maybe with that added income I can get a less paying but less stressful job. I dont want to live off the government or my child and I signed up for it for his future. Here in the USA I have been told it is easier for someone to get on SSI as an adult if they had it as a child. It only took a month for him to get approved THat is how severe his disability presents on paper (and real life of course) But I need to figure out what is best for myself and my family,
I fear I won’t be able to break the emotional cutting that I tend to do. On the plus side I havent had suicidal ideation in several weeks. I noticed yesterday I had a thought about a situation i found myself in years ago not realizing my choices were escrewed by mental illness. It was very toxic but I think about this person and opening the wound that is always there. No matter the type of relationship when it ends badly there is always a barely healed… slightly scabbed wound,.
I fear I will never find hope that my son will leave a full life. I worry too much about the what if’s with him. 😦
What fears keep you up at night?
Comments… questions… random thoughts leave them below!