May 2014 — Mental Health Awareness month

MHM 2014 – Mind Your Health Poster Calendar

 

Grrrr I wanted the link above to be a picture within the post. It won’t but if you click on the link it will bring up a calendar created by Mental Health America

Today we are to pick out a class to take. Well where I live things like that are limited. I will though go with a new found friend tomorrow to help her learn her camera. I think it follows the spirit of it all.

I am still on an emotional roller coaster I need to find a therapist to help me work though some of these things, Alas I want to do DBT but I cant find anyone remotely by me who does it. I honestly have asked anyone around me I can think of if they know anybody, No leads at all. Boo

I am living in fear. I do think that is my underlying issue right now.

I fear that if I start to eat healthier I will lose my best friend — binge eating/food.

I fear that I won’t find any recovery or that it even exists.

I fear what choices I should make for my future. I know my job can be toxic for me and I would be better mentally if I didnt have it but I am good at it AND i need the insurance. But my son has been approved for SSI and I am thinking that maybe with that added income I can get a less paying but less stressful job. I dont want to live off the government or my child and I signed up for it for his future. Here in the USA I have been told it is easier for someone to get on SSI as an adult if they had it as a child. It only took a month for him to get approved THat is how severe his disability presents on paper (and real life of course) But I need to figure out what is best for myself and my family,

I fear I won’t be able to break the emotional cutting that I tend to do. On the plus side I havent had suicidal ideation in several weeks. I noticed yesterday I had a thought about a situation i found myself in years ago not realizing my choices were escrewed by mental illness. It was very toxic but I think about this person and opening the wound that is always there. No matter the type of relationship when it ends badly there is always a barely healed… slightly scabbed wound,.

I fear I will never find hope that my son will leave a full life. I worry too much about the what if’s with him. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

What fears keep you up at night?

Comments… questions… random thoughts leave them below!

7 thoughts on “May 2014 — Mental Health Awareness month

  1. I can really relate to leaving behind your love of binge eating, I’m in the same kind of place as far as that goes.

    As far as my bipolar goes I’ve always worried that I will always be on medication. I would love to be happy and healthy without medication some day, but I’m not sure if that’s a realistic goal. My main goal is to stay stable and healthy of course, and if that means I have to stay on medication then so be it!

    I was in a place where I was fearing that I would never get better, around 2 years ago when I was in hospital with a manic episode. I was in for 3 weeks and it was a really tough time. I really didn’t think things would get better, but gradually they did. Two and a bit years later and I’m doing a lot better. A bit on the depressed side but overall a lot better than I’ve been in a few years.

    I really feel you can improve, I hope you can have some sense of this too. Hang in there and remember if you’re going through crap you’ve got to keep moving to get out the other side. Take care ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. There are some really good self-guided DBT books out there! Perhaps one of them will help you learn DBT skills? At least, one of them might get you started. Good luck!

      1. Right! Here’s a book I have on my Kindle, which I’m finding quite good: “The Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Skills Workbook”; here’s the Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B0041D8UWM/ref=pe_520732_50917562M1CDP
        And when I was part of a DBT group, the handouts came from “Skills Training for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder” by Marsha Lineham, (c) 1993, The Guildford Press.
        There’s also this site: http://www.dbtselfhelp.com which you might find quite useful,. Enjoy!

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