And I am more emotionally fucked up then I was a twenty six or hell even sixteen. Are we suppose to get better with age. Like wine right? I just completely deleted a blog I maintained for over a year as it was going nowhere in helping me improve and I was hoping it would. All it manages to do was connect me with someone that ended being toxic to me. The person I am sure is good but the stupid internet gives us some kind of buffer that isn’t reality and I am an all or nothing person. This is a problem for me as I get obsessive pretty fast (not stalkerish just if you can’t give me what I want when I want it I am over or done. I am too old for games and for people to act one minute you are special and the next not) Yes I realize I am not making sense. I am really good at that.
So back on topic. I recently was helped by a little birdy to realize I lack self worth. I want to improve this so I start therapy on Monday and I would like to try this blog as a recording of that journey sans the drama I helped create with the old blog. I want to be emotionally sound by 38. I think that is an attainable goal. 😀